Orange Creamsicles
by adamthegoose
Summary: Dimentio hires someone from Earth as his assistant. DxOC, O'ChunksxMimi?
1. p r o l o g u e

_A/N: :3 Hi.  
><em>_Well. I wrote a dumb version of this before, called The Assistant, but then I decided it was horribly written and had no plot and was just disgusting so I deleted it. ...And rewrote it. And this is it.  
>I own nothing~<em>

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><p>p r o l o g u e<p>

The walls of my room are black. The floors are black. The furniture is black, the bed is black, everything is black. Outside my room, the hallways are black. The other rooms are black. The exterior of the castle is black. Even the flames of the candles are black.

But the darkest, most black thing in the entire castle is the rose that I clutch tightly in my hand as I dart frantically through the maze of the hallways, trying to find the source of the unfamiliar screaming of my name. I shout back, "Where are you?" But no answer; just terrified, desperate cries.

I run faster, the stem of the rose making an indent in the palm of my hand. I turn the corner of a hallway, to be faced with the one thing I'd feared for a long time.

There he stands, clutching his bleeding chest, breathing hard, sweat dripping down his face. He glances up at me with angry eyes, but when he sees my terrified expression, they soften.

My jaw falls, and I drop the rose. The red rose that he gave me months ago, and he promised that the day the rose died would be the day he left me. The rose was fake, I'd learned that the day he gave it to me; but a few minutes earlier, as I heard his pained cries, I found it, black and withering.

"There's no way..." I choke, and he reaches out, putting his finger over my lips to silence me. He shakes his head, forcing a smile, and says, "Everything will be fine, I promise. Go, go get the others, quick...get help..."

"But what if they come back?" I ask, and he smiles, shaking his head. "They're not coming back, they've done what they wanted to do. Now go, get them, before it gets worse."

He glances at the rose and his face twists. My heart pounds faster, and I nod, dashing down the halls.

I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life.

As I run, everything flashes through my head, the past few months. All the people, all the memories, all the everything. They all swirl around, and that lump forms in my throat. It can't end now. So much just happened.

Our lives together had only just begun...


	2. o n e

o n e

They say that high school is supposed to be the best 4 years of your life, but so far, things weren't looking so good. Not even four days into my freshman year and I was somehow already standing face to face with a boy who didn't exist. He was a videogame character; an evil jester from my favorite game, Super Paper Mario, and was created by someone who simply had a good idea for a villain. Yes, I had a slight obsession with the character, and yes, I'd always dreamt of the day he would appear in my life and whisk me away to his castle, but never did I actually think it would happen. Yet hear I was, listening to him ask if I would join him in defeating his rivals Blumiere and Timpani and taking over the universe.

"The Dark Prognosticus told me I was here to hire a personal assistant," Dimentio, the jester, explained. "The Ancients said you'd be short. Dark hair, blue eyes...my face on your shirt..." He chuckled. I glanced down; there he was, his cartoon face grinning on my shirt. I blushed and looked up. He smirked.

"But what about my friends...?" I asked. He shrugged. "You can visit them sometimes, I suppose."

"Can't you bring my friends too?"

Dimentio laughed. "Silly girl," he said. "You say your videogame portrays me well? Sweetheart, I follow what it says in the Dark Prognosticus. What the spirits write in it, I follow. Does it want me to bring a herd of teenagers to my dimension so I can listen to you gossip and play dress-up? No. I need to hire you, take over the rest of the worlds, defeat Blumiere and Timpani, then create my own perfect dimension! It's quite simple. Come now, take my hand and we'll be going."

The jester smiled a perfect smile, and held out his black-gloved hand. My heart skipped a beat. This could not be happening.

"You're fake," I realized. "You don't even exist."

He laughed hard. "Then how am I here?"

I shrugged. "I'm dreaming? Hallucinating, maybe? You're a rapist that just so happens to be extremely attractive?"

He smirked at that comment, then sighed. "Let's see. What cool powers do I have in this videogame I'm part of?"

"You hover," I said. "You can be invisible, you teleport, you do anything you want with a snap of your fingers, you can clone yourself..."

Dimentio grinned, floating off the ground and disappearing into thin air. I blinked. "Um, where..."

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I turned to see about 10 Dimentio's hovering in the air. They simultaneously snapped their fingers, and several purple and yellow fireworks exploded into the evening sky above my backyard, where we stood. All but one Dimentio disappeared, and he hovered up to me. He leaned in close to my face. "Believe me yet?"

I was definitely dreaming. "D'aww, what the hell. Let's go to your damn dimension, I'll wake up in the morning happy."

The jester laughed, then took my hand in his. With a snap of his fingers, we were transported elsewhere. The feeling was weird, like when someone sneaks up on you and pushes you forward, but in a matter of seconds, it was over. We ended up in a completely different place. It was just like in the videogames: dark purple skies, black and white walkway under my feet, and a huge black castle. Over the door of the castle hung a purple and yellow flag, with a black "D" in the center. Castle Dimentio.

"Sucks that Mom's going to wake me up early tomorrow," I mumbled, trailing up to the castle doors. Dimentio chuckled again. "You don't really believe that, do you? Mom's not here. Just us and my other pathetic minions."

"Who else?" I asked. He sighed, his expression seeming to curse at me for asking to meet them, and he hovered into the dark castle. I quickly followed.

The interior was the same. The black walls matched the black floors, with only white along the top and bottom of the wall. The candles on the wall even had dark flames, yet somehow they gave off light, giving slight vision when walking through the halls.

Finally we reached a door, and after glaring at me for a second, Dimentio pushed it open. Four heads popped up, and I blinked.

"You're back, boss!" two voices exclaimed in chorus. Two boys darted over, examining me. Their black hair was styled the same way, falling over their eyes a bit, spiked up in the back. Ice blue eyes shined from under their bangs, and they smiled at me with white teeth. One boy, wearing no top, hot pink shorts, and a flowery belt, started poking my face. He was tall and muscular, yet seemed to be insane. The other boy was thin, wearing a sweater and khaki pants. He was punching in numbers on a calculator, ever so often glancing up at me.

Dimentio sighed, annoyed. "Those are the twins, Carlos and Conrad," he said. "Try not to stay in the same room as either of these two, because their ridiculousness might eat you alive."

The topless boy laughed loudly and shoved Dimentio into a wall. "Don't listen to boss, he's just a killjoy about everything. I'm Carlos, and I'm fun, sexy, and amazing in bed." He winked, and I giggled.

"Not to mention rude and quite disturbing," the other twin muttered. He looked up and smiled. "Conrad, pleasure to meet you."

I smiled. They were certainly different for twins.

Dimentio recomposed himself and stood behind me. "The girl with the green hair and slutty dress? That's Mimi. Unless you're obsessed with boys and rubies, you'll probably want to stay away from her, too." I nodded slowly. He growled. "And where the hell is-"

"AY! Dimentier! Di'nt 'ear yeh come back!" a gruff voice yelled, and into he room ran a huge man with a puffy orange beard and what looked like a warrior's uniform. He glanced at me and smiled. "Ay, yeh brought back teh new recruit! Good teh meet yeh, lass. My name's O'Chunks."

"I know," I said. His eyebrow rose, then he shrugged. "Well, I gots teh go get teh food! Mimi, let's go! Chunks away!" he ran out of the room, and Mimi rose from her seat across the room. As she followed him, she scrutinized me head to toe. Then she looked at Dimentio, as if disgusted. "_That's_ what your genius spirits pick? She looks like some weak, obsessive freak," she snarled, then strutted out of the room.

Carlos laughed. "Damn, that girl's got some attitude," he said. "Such a bitch. But nice tits. I like tits. Tits are just so-"

"Carlos!" Conrad slapped him. "We have a guest! And boss is here! Besides, Mimi is with O'Chunks, you have no right to be talking about her tits."

"BUT I LIKE THEM!" Carlos screamed, stamping his feet and flailing about. Dimentio was obviously getting annoyed. "Carlos! Shut up!" he screamed, and with a snap, threw a brick at the boy. He fell unconscious to the floor.

Conrad shook his head, then patted mine. "I'm sorry, young innocent girl. Carlos is much too immature for anyone's liking. And he honestly has nothing to feel accomplished about. I, in fact, have all the knowledge in this alliance, therefore if you were to need someone to use for intercourse, I would certainly be a good choice, considering I have studied all of the techniques and-"

"Enough!" Dimentio shouted, and Conrad jumped, grabbing Carlos by the wrist and dragging him out of the room. The jester smiled and turned to me. "If the Ancients didn't want me to keep them in this alliance, I swear..."

I shrugged. "I think they're kind of entertaining."

His eye twitched, and I laughed. He shook his head. "Just wait until you have to listen to them every day... ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, you'll want to hang yourself..."

My heart sped up at the sound of his signature laugh. He smirked, then pointed across the hall. "Spare bed in there, and plenty of clothing selections for bed. It's about time to sleep now, and we have lots planned for tomorrow, so go."

I stared at him blankly, then sighed and trailed into the room. The door slammed behind me and I gulped, peering around.

The walls and floors were black, of course, as well as the bed and furniture. It was quite a depressing and gloomy room. But in the corner was a door, with yellow curtains. I walked over and through the door, and outside was a small balcony. It overlooked the dark sky, and a bright yellow moon shined in the sky. The cool breeze felt good, and all that could be heard was a peaceful silence.

I smiled and watched the moon. "I don't want to wake up," I said quietly to myself. Why would I? Somehow, in the past few hours, I'd found my obsession, and now was free, with him, in a completely different dimension. I was going to help a boy with superpowers create his perfect world, and maybe along the line, he could fall for me. But I was only dreaming.

Tired, I climbed into the surprisingly cozy black bed and shut my eyes, praying this dream would never end.


	3. t w o

t w o

"Twinkle twinkle little girl, how I wonder what the color of your panties are..."

Slowly I woke up from a long, deep sleep, not wanting to open my eyes yet. My bed was strangely comfortable this morning, and though it felt so late, it still seemed dark, so I tried again to fall back asleep.

"Up above the floor so high, like a nipple in the sky..."

Whose voice was that?

I sprang up, and standing there was the topless pink-shorts boy from my dream last night, Carlos. He now wore a kilt and green woman's blouse, complete with a hot pink beret. He made an odd face and at the top of his lungs yelled, "Good morning, Amanda!"

"What the hell?" I screamed, hyperventilating. He gasped. "Oh, don't worry, boss told me your name. I'm not creepy, don't worry. Didn't mean to startle you."

"No, why are you in here? What the hell happened to my bed? Where's my room?" I yelled, searching. Carlos laughed. "It's right here, silly!"

"No, my _real _room!" I shouted frantically. From the doorway a smooth voice said, "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...she's convinced she's dreaming this."

Carlos laughed. "Dreaming us? No one could create me in their dreams. I'm much too sexy and perfect."

I glared at both of them as they both smirked at me. "Okay, so I'm not dreaming. So what's going on?"

"Well," Dimentio said, hovering over. "You're my assistant now, are you not? We're trying to coax Blumiere and Timpani to the castle, as the Dark Prognosticus says, and we're going to take their powers from them completely."

"Why can't you just teleport to where they are now and kill them?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. He lowered his glance. "Well, you see, that's not how my powers work...if I could kill people that easily, I swear..." He glowered at Carlos, who crossed his eyes and smiled obnoxiously.

"Oh," I said, looking around the room. "Why am I here?"

"You're hopeless," Dimentio said. "Come, Carlos, we're leaving." The twin cackled creepily and darted into the room, Dimentio following. I rolled my eyes, getting out of the dark bed and dashing after them.

"Wait, wait! Where are you going?" I asked, and Carlos turned with a constipated look on his face. "To Conrad's room!" he said in a very nasal voice. I rolled my eyes, running up to Dimentio. "What are we doing?"

He smirked, looking down at me as he hovered through the hallways. "We," he said. "Are going out to kidnap Peach to lure Mario here, because he's in hiding and we need to get rid of him before we can get rid of Blumiere and Timpani. But _you_..." He snapped his fingers, and several cans of black paint and a few big brushes appeared in his hands. He handed them to me. "Ah ha ha ha..._you _will be repainting the main hallway because Carlos painted a very...suggestive picture across it."

I gaped at him. "So you're all going out to do fun dirty work and I get to paint your hallway? That's not what I wanted to do when I said I'd come here!"

The jester shrugged. "I hired you to be my personal assistant. Since there's nothing else for you to do, and since that wall needs to be intimidating instead of awkward...it's your job, not mine."

I stared at him in disbelief. "Well, can't I go with you?"

He laughed. "You're a little girl, you can't kidnap a princess."

I frowned. "Mimi is."

He laughed again. "Mimi is too busy with O'Chunks to bother with princesses. This is how it works around here. Get used to it."

And with that, Conrad came out of his room (wearing a plaid suit), and the three boys disappeared. I grunted, walking around aimlessly, trying to find the hallway with Carlos' suggestive painting. Sure enough, it was easy to find, as it took up an entire wall. The wall stretched across what looked like miles of just hallway, and over the entire wall was very obviously a painting of an orgy in neon colors.

I fumed, setting down the paint cans and painting over a pair of huge boobs. _This is ridiculous, _I thought, and 2 pairs of footsteps startled me as they walked by. I turned around, and there stood Mimi and O'Chunks. O'Chunks smiled heartily, and Mimi scoffed. I smiled. "Hi," I greeted them. Mimi rolled her eyes. "Too happy," she snapped, but O'Chunks elbowed her.

"Dimentier gotcha paintin' walls, eh? Yer 'is maid now?" he chuckled. I shrugged. "I honestly thought I'd be doing something, you know. Exciting?"

"Welcome to Castle Dimentio," Mimi muttered. O'Chunks elbowed her again. "Ay, keep yer spirits up. Where are they at? I can teleport yeh there, if ya want meh to."

I smiled a little. "I might get in trouble."

They both laughed now. "It's worth it," O'Chunks said. He waved at me, and suddenly, the feeling of being teleported away returned to me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and when I opened them, I was in the dark, dusty corner of a room, trapped behind several boxes and bins. I coughed, the dust clogging my throat, and stood up. I peered over the boxes. The rest of the room looked old and disgusting as well, and in another corner between a few boxes sat Princess Peach. She looked nervous and afraid as she looked around. "Who made that noise?" she asked, panicking. I hid my head. I didn't want her to see me, not before Dimentio, Carlos, and Conrad got there.

But I was saved, because two boys cleared their throats. "It was us, ma'am," the twins said in chorus, appearing in front of the princess. She shrieked, covering her eyes, and they laughed in chorus. Despite their odd personalities when alone, they were extremely threatening and daunting when they were being evil. Peach started crying. "What do you want from me?"

Another dark, terrifying laugh came from the corner. All three looked over, and Dimentio appeared there. This was the first time I had seen him in full costume like in the games; his purple and yellow jester hat and costume, his black and white mask...I shuddered.

"Ah ha ha ha ha...well, what are you going to do to defend yourself, hmm? Whip us with your satin gloves? Maybe throw your crown at us? For a girl who means so much to Mario, he doesn't protect you from evil very well." The jester smirked, floating closer.

Peach pouted. "He does too protect me!"

"Then where is he?" the twins asked. She shrugged. The three boys laughed, and Dimentio raised his arms slowly. We all watched, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. We all frowned, Dimentio included. He raised his arms again, and again, nothing happened. He growled. "What's going on?"

"Boss, where's your powers? This isn't how the story is supposed to go," the twins chorused. I eyed Peach; a small smirk was growing on her face. I glanced at her hand, and in it she held a glowing red heart.

"That's it!" I shouted, diving out from behind the boxes and grabbed the heart out of the princess' hand. It was one of the many Pure Hearts, and it seemed to be preventing Dimentio from...whatever he was trying to do.

The said jester glared at me, jaw dropped. "How did you...? Why...?" he pursed his lips, then glared at the heart in my hands. "Give me that," he said, reaching for it. I pulled it out of his way. "No," I said. "And I'll give it back to Peach unless _you_ paint the walls."

Carlos started cackling oddly, doing a funny dance. "Amanda is amazing, Amanda is amazing, Amanda has tits and Amanda is amazing..." he sang. Conrad slapped him, pushing him into some boxes.

"Fine," Dimentio muttered, and I handed him the Pure Heart. As soon as the glowing object slipped into his grasp, it exploded. Peach started crying again, and my eyebrows shot up. Dimentio smirked, raising his arms, and Princess Peach disappeared.

Conrad applauded slowly for Dimentio, and smiled. "Bravo, boss. And Amanda as well, for noticing the Pure Heart. I find your keen eye fascinating. You see, the Pure Hearts' existence only makes the heroes stronger. As they are destroyed with boss' evil touch, we grow stronger."

"Okay," I said, turning to Dimentio. He was glowering at me. "How did you even get here," he muttered. I smiled. "So where did Peach go, anyway?"

"The dungeon in the castle," Carlos said. "It's quite cozy, actually, once you get used to the chill and the darkness. That's where boss kept me for a little while when he first hired me because I was a nuisance. But I don't know what that means. I think it means that he can't contain his secret homosexual attraction for me because I'm too sexy for him. I'll have to add that to my dictionary. Nuisance: Verb. A person too sexy for you. AKA, Carlos."

I snorted, bursting into a fit of giggles. Conrad rolled his eyes, and Dimentio glared at him. "Secret homosexual attraction my ass," the jester muttered. I didn't think any of us were supposed to hear it, but I laughed at it anyway. The jester sighed, snapping his fingers, and we all returned back to the castle.


	4. t h r e e

t h r e e

"So what happened with Peach and the Pure Heart earlier? It just exploded in your hand..."

Dimentio and I made a compromise and decided to both paint over the orgy on the wall. This way, it would get done faster, and I would get to talk to him about some stuff. I turned to him as I painted over an arm, and he smirked, glancing at me.

"Well," he said slowly, "After Count Bleck was defeated and he reunited with Timpani, the Pure Hearts were somehow redistributed to the places where they were formerly kept."

"Okay," I said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

He rolled his eyes. "Since I took possession of the Dark Prognosticus again, the Chaos Heart is again unleashed. And so are the Pure Hearts. So, Blumiere and Timpani and Mario and their stupid little friends have the option of again collecting the Pure Hearts to counteract my Chaos Heart. They have apparently already collected the first, and stupidly decided to leave it in Peach's care..."

"So how come it exploded?" I asked. He shrugged. "I touched it. And I am much stronger and eviler than any..." He grimaced. "Pure Heart."

I stared at him, confused, then shrugged and continued painting the wall. After a few seconds, I turned back. "How come you can't go out and destroy all of the Pure Hearts then, before they get a chance to take them and possibly destroy the Chaos Heart?"

The jester paused, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. "It could work," he said. "It'd be easier for me to gain possession of them than it would be for the fools, but the Dark Prognosticus..."

I pursed my lips, nodding and continuing painting. I didn't understand why he had to follow the Dark Prognosticus prophecy. How come he couldn't do his own thing and not listen to what spirits told him to do.

Suddenly, two pairs of feet came dashing down the hallway. Identical voices shouted, "BOSS! BOSS! BOSS! BOSS!"

"What?" Dimentio growled, setting down his paints. Carlos was smiling goofily, and Conrad was holding the Dark Prognosticus. Conrad handed the black book to the jester, who raised an eyebrow at the twin. He did the same. "A new prophecy. I saw it start glowing."

"Ah," Dimentio said, smiling and opening the book. He turned to the newest page, and his eyes skimmed it. As he read, his grin widened. He glanced at me over the top of his book. "You're a smart little girl," he said, closing it. "It is our duty to crush each and every one of those Pure Hearts and grow stronger than ever."

"You mean, like you did with the Princess' red one?" Carlos asked, his grin widening. Dimentio rolled his eyes. "Yes, like that one. Now, where are O'Chunks and Mimi?"

"Making some cake to eat! Yay! I love cake!" Carlos exclaimed, dancing and flailing. He leaped into a paint can, causing his entire right foot to become soaked in black paint. He burst into tears, standing in the wet paint. Dimentio rolled his eyes, yanking him out and throwing him onto the floor. The boy sniffled, staring at his foot. He started laughing. "My foot looks funny," he giggled. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"So that settles it then," Dimentio said. "We're going to look for Pure Hearts."

"YAY!" Carlos screamed, jumping up and doing an odd dance. "That," he said, "Is the dance that a flamingo will do to attract a female partner. While making this noise." He continued his dance and let out a strange noise, and Conrad pinched his neck. Carlos shrieked, then stood quiet and still.

"So let's see," Dimentio said. "Conrad. Go get Mimi and O'Chunks. Tell them that they will head to Fracktail, and find the second, orange Pure Heart from him."

"Got it," Conrad said, dashing off to the kitchen. Dimentio sighed, turning to Carlos. "Now," he said. "Follow him. After he sends off Mimi and O'Chunks, I need you and your brother to go to Merlee, in her mansion. She will hold the third yellow Pure Heart, get it."

"Okeydokey, boss! You can count on me!" He darted down the hallway after his brother, laughing and squealing.

"And you," the jester grinned at me. "Will just have to accompany me to Fort Francis, to retrieve the fourth, green Pure Heart."

"I thought I was your maid," I mumbled, waving a paint brush in his face. He chuckled, then shrugged. "Well, if you'd prefer to stay here and paint, then by all means, you're welcome. Ah ha ha ha...but if you'd like some action, then the paints can be saved..."

"I'll come!" I said, throwing the brush back into the can. He grinned, then winked. "Ready?"

I blushed. "Yup," I said, and he laughed again, snapping his fingers and teleporting us off.

o0o0o0o0o

The Bitlands were exactly like in the game. The sky, ground, and everything around us looked like little squares. We stood in front of a giant tree, and it didn't seem like there was any other way besides through it. Unless...

"Why didn't you just teleport us to Francis?" I asked, glancing at the jester questioningly. He sighed, looking at his gloved hands. "It's the tree," he said. "The tree and the castle. They are protected against my powers through the Pure Heart. There is no way to teleport to him without first venturing through the tree and castle..."

"That sucks," I muttered, looking up above my head. The tree was huge, towering above us, and looked to be millions of miles high. I grunted, mad that I even came in the first place. All of this work...just so Dimentio could be a little stronger?

"Don't you dare complain," the jester warned. "Just be grateful you don't have to swim through the big pool."

He was right. I sighed, walking forward to the side of the tree and pulling myself onto a ledge. Already, I was high up, feeling like I was going to fall. How did Mario and his friends do this all the time? I braced myself, then took a huge leap onto another ledge on the tree, and grabbed onto the edge. I was slipping off. I quickly threw my leg over, and stood on top of it. I was high up, and I winced as I glanced at the ground below me. But, there was no one there. Where did Dimentio go?

"Ah ha ha ha ha...up here, sweetheart," Dimentio teased, and I looked up. He was sitting on a ledge a few yards up, and he waved down to me. I crossed my arms. "Not fair!"

"Very fair," he said, hovering up a little more. "Catch me if you can!"

"Come on, either carry me or wait!" I said, scowling and leaping onto a moving ledge. It carried me to a branch higher, and I climbed on. However, also on the branch was a Tileoid. I shrieked, watching as it inched closer. "How do I get rid of this?"

The jester laughed, hard. "I'm winning this race...!"

"This is no race, it's going to kill me...!" I screamed, and the Tileoid slid next to me. It pushed me off the branch and I fell, far, down onto the ground. I landed on my back, and it hurt like hell. That was definitely going to leave a bruise.

I laid there for a few seconds, then slowly sat up. A pain shot up my back, and I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut. It hurt. I sat on the ground, looking up above me. I didn't see anyone. Dimentio didn't seriously go inside the tree without me, did he?

But his hand rested on my shoulder as he knelt down next to me, chuckling. I turned my head, and there he sat, smirking. "That was quite a fall," he said, winking. I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "I just don't get why you couldn't have helped me."

"I'm the villain, am I not?" he winked. I rolled my eyes. "I'm on your side," I said. He laughed. "True, true. Come on, I'll help you up."

I stood up slowly, stretching my pained back. I headed toward the ledge again, waiting for a lift up, but an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me up. I flew into the air, and I screamed, looking down. My feet dangled below me as Dimentio carried me up to the top of the tree, past hundreds of branches and little ledges and enemies. Atop the tree was a platform, and he set me down on it. I glanced down at the ground, millions of feet down. My stomach turned, and I groaned, backing up a little. "I'm not afraid of heights, but this is a little much," I said. The jester laughed.

"Ah ha ha ha ha...that's right, you've only seen the first few floors of my castle," he winked, hovering around the platform. "Just wait until I bring you to the top."

I grunted, looking around. "Where do we go from here?"

"Ready?" he asked, again flying with me in his arms. I shrieked. "No, not quite ready yet!"

Nevertheless, he flew to another platform with a green pipe emerging from it. He set me down in front of the pipe, then pointed to it. "You know what that is, yes?"

"Warp pipe," I said. He nodded. "Just jump through. Like a slide," he said, and he jumped into the pipe, disappearing. I gulped, sitting down on the edge of the pipe and swinging my legs over. I slid in, and Dimentio was right; it was like a slide. I shot out the other side, and there he stood, grinning and pointing ahead. There, in the distance, was a huge castle.

I grinned. "Finally," I said, running in the direction. Dimentio gasped, hovering past me and frowning. "Don't go ahead of me," he warned. "You might get hurt."

I huffed, and followed him as we headed for Fort Francis.


	5. f o u r

_A/N: I totally don't listen to the fitting songs from the SPM soundtrack while writing these... xD;  
>Also, I'm sorry for any OOC-ness :x<em>

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><p>f o u r<p>

"Where the hell is the key to this castle?"

"Right here, Dimentio," I said, opening a small treasure chest hidden behind a bush in the corner. I pulled out the small key and handed it to the jester. After walking through the Bitlands and killing several enemies by himself, the jester was cranky and tired. This was a side I'd never seen in him before, nor did I ever imagine he would have. I guess for a boy who used magic to do everything, this was a bit of an unpleasant change for him.

He put the key in the castle door and opened it, storming inside. I quickly followed, expecting him to do something childish, parallel to his mood. Yet when I ran inside after him and looked around...I saw no one.

"...Dimentio?" I called in a whisper. There was a cough from the corner. I looked, but there was no one there. I walked over slowly. Was it Dimentio, using his invisibility powers to walk through the castle unknown? Or was it someone worse, like...Francis?

"Who's there?" I asked, and a hand seized my wrist and pulled me to the side. I shrieked, looking to my side. Still, no one was there. But I looked down, and found...I was not there either. Was I invisible too?

"We have to stay quiet and hidden," Dimentio whispered, his lips at my ear. I could feel his breath on my neck, and I shivered. I nodded at his command, and was intoxicated by his sweet scent. He continued to hold my arm as he tugged me through the castle.

On one side of the hallway was a sign. It was barely noticeable, almost camouflaged in the gray walls. As we passed it, I just happened to be able to read what it said. "For Master Francis' eyes only! Room on the left: 2323. Room on the right: 2828." I decided it might be important, so I repeated them over and over in my head so I couldn't forget.

He pulled me past several robotic cat maids, which kind of freaked me out. As his pace grew quicker, I began speed-walking, which caused me to trip. Once, I tripped over one of the robot cats, and it exploded under my feet. Several security robots turned, sirens going off. Dimentio stopped moving, his grip on my hand tightening so hard, it was painful. The security cats calmed down, seeing nothing in their path, and Dimentio kept going.

We came to a huge cat-shaped door with 2 key-holes in it. The hallway was empty, so Dimentio let go of me, and the 2 of us lost our invisibility. The jester frowned at me. "You have to be careful walking through these halls," he said. I lowered my gaze. "Sorry."

He grinned. "Ah ha ha ha...I'm not mad. More relieved that those moronic toys didn't catch us. We'd have never gotten hold of the Pure Heart in that case..." He turned to the door, snapping his fingers. Nothing happened. He frowned, then turned to me. "Now what?"

"In the game we find keys," I suggested, though it was painfully obvious. Dimentio scowled. "Alright. Well, there's 2. So...you go that way, and I'll go this way. Find a key, meet me back here."

He disappeared, and I cleared my throat. "How do I become invisible?"

There was silence. "Hmm...that's a good point. Well, you're a girl, and 'totally hot babes' are allowed in here, are they not?" I could hear the smirk in his voice. I grimaced. I wasn't a 'totally hot babe' in the slightest. "I don't think I qualify."

Yet there was no answer. The jester had already left.

I sighed, dashing down the hallway to the right and through another door. At the opposite side of the room greeting me was another cat robot. Yet when this one saw me, it did nothing but smile.

I cautiously walked up to the robot, poking it, and it began to speak.

"You have reached the door to Master's private room," it said. "For security purposes, you must confirm your identity. Answer the following security questions with either 'true' or 'false'."

"Okay," I muttered. Francis was insane, having all of these cat robots protecting his castle, but I waited for this security cat to go on.

"Videogame soundtracks are totally hi-technicaaaaaal!"

I couldn't help but giggle. "True," I said.

"Episode 127 of 'The Grodus Chronicles' is pretty much the schweetest thing ever!"

"True."

"One day, I will own all of the 'Starship X-Naut' series 3 collectible action figures."

"...True."

"Now, you must enter the passcode."

Passcode? Those were probably what the numbers on the signs were for! "Two-eight-two-eight."

"Welcome home, master! Master's fantasy fortress is safe from intruders!" The cat robot moved aside, revealing an elevator. I quickly entered it, going to the top floor of the castle.

Inside this room was a huge cat robot, and I quickly dove into the corner to avoid its path. I could see a chest on a shelf in the opposite corner, which possibly held the key to the locked door. I glanced at the cat robot, who paced back and forth emotionlessly through the room. I took my chance, leaped on top of it, and then leaped onto the shelf that held the chest.

Inside the chest was, indeed, a key. I darted out of the room, down the elevator, and back to the cat-shaped door. Dimentio was standing there, leaning against the wall. He grinned when I arrived. "Took you long enough."

I grunted, pushing the key into the door. The cat face above the door came to life. "Only hot babes are allowed in Francis' room," it said, shooting lasers in Dimentio's direction. He jumped, then turned invisible. I gulped. The cat face began asking questions, as if quizzing my compatibility with the reptile. I answered 'true' to each one, and the door opened. I looked around, trying to find Dimentio, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I walked into the room slowly, and there stood Francis, reading a comic book. As the door closed behind me, the chameleon looked up, his jaw dropping. "W-what? A girl? H-how did you get in here?"

I gulped. "The...door?" I tried. Francis laughed, putting down his comics. He stepped closer, grinning. "A-a sense of h-humor, huh?" he laughed. "I-I can be funny too! Just...just let me find a joke!"

"That won't be necessary," Dimentio's voice said from behind me, saving me from the socially-awkward chameleon. Francis gasped, and Dimentio appeared. The jester hovered in front of me, crossing his arms and smirking.

"H-how did you get in here? My guards only let in totally hot babes! Y-you aren't a hot babe at all!" Francis said. His eyes darted back and forth between us. "A-are you lovers?"

_In my dreams,_ I thought, but Dimentio let out a cold laugh. "Lovers? You're mistaken, silly lizard. I do not love. Love is meaningless. All it does it hurt people. Break hearts, cause pain. My strength is not love, but power. Power over silly creatures such as yourself."

My heart stopped at this comment, but my slight pain was taken over by shock when Dimentio snapped his fingers, and a box formed around Francis. The chameleon panicked for a moment before everything inside the box exploded. When the explosions stopped, the box disappeared, and in its place...emptiness.

"Where did he go?" I asked quietly. Dimentio smirked. "The Underwhere, of course," he said, hovering to the side of the room. He pressed a switch, and from the ceiling emerged a green Pure Heart. Dimentio reached for it, and the second it touched his fingers, it exploded. He grinned, his fingers curling into fists. He turned to me. I watched him, thinking. I was still absorbing his previous comment. I knew he sensed it. "I know what you're thinking."

"I know you do," I muttered. He chuckled. "Well, I was actu-"

"BOSS! BOSS! BOSS!" Carlos and Conrad yelled, running into the room. Carlos thrust a yellow Pure Heart into Dimentio's hands, and the jester glared at him as the heart exploded. "What did you do to get this?"

Carlos winked, and Dimentio groaned. Into the room walked in O'Chunks and Mimi, who grumpily handed an orange Pure Heart to Dimentio. He smiled, the heart bursting in his black glove. "Four down, four to go," he said, grinning. Carlos started dancing. Everyone glared at him, and he stopped.

"Let's head back to the castle then," the jester said, waving his finger. His powers obviously had returned to him, as we all disappeared from Fort Francis.


	6. f i v e

f i v e

We were all sitting around, taking a break from our Pure Heart collecting. Dimentio sat in an uncomfortable chair, skimming the Dark Prognosticus, as if trying to find something hidden in the ancient prophecies. I sat behind his chair with Conrad, watching as he tried to solve the Hodge conjecture. Mimi sat alone against a wall, glaring at everyone with cold eyes, as her O'Chunks was out trying to battle Mario and get rid of him before he could team up with Blumiere and Timpani again. And Carlos laid in the corner, in fetal position, occasionally asking for things that were always an obvious 'no'.

"Wait! I have a really good idea all of a sudden! And it's not a stupid question!" Carlos exclaimed. Dimentio raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" he said, not moving his eyes from his book.

Carlos jumped up. "Yep!" he said, laughing. "We should all have for a party to celebrate that we got all of these Pure Hearts and stuff! And then we'll be pumped to beat the shit out of Plumy and his girlfriend and we'll be victorious!"

Dimentio let out one hard laugh. "Plumy," he chuckled. "Plumy and his girlfriend."

"Is that a yes?" Carlos asked, a big grin on his face. Dimentio glared at him over the top of the Dark Prognosticus. "It's a no."

Carlos sulked, staring at the floor with tears in his eyes. I felt kind of bad for him, but I didn't push it. "When are we getting the other Pure Hearts?" I asked instead.

"Now that's a good question!" Dimentio said, grinning. "Tomorrow, when we're all..." He quoted Carlos with a smirk. "Pumped to beat the shit out of Plumy and his girlfriend." Everyone, Mimi included, had to smile at Carlos' disappointed face.

Suddenly, Conrad jumped up and screamed. "I've deciphered it! The answer is mine!" He darted out of the room, disappearing.

"That was weird," Mimi said, looking at me. I stared at her. She hadn't said one thing to me since we'd met a few days ago that wasn't an insult, and although that comment probably wasn't directed towards me, it felt like it was. I smiled, and she actually smiled back. Was she actually starting to accept me?

"You bet it was," Dimentio muttered, closing his book and standing. He glared at Carlos, who shrieked and dashed out of the room. The jester laughed. "Silly little boy," he said with a smirk. Mimi laughed as well, then calmly walked out of the room and headed for the front entrance, to meet O'Chunks. Dimentio grinned. "Come along."

I followed him down the hallway, but suddenly he stopped. I crashed into him, falling to the floor. "What?"

He put a finger to his lips, to shush me, and I listened to what he was trying to hear as well. From the hallway, we could hear someone being punched, kicked. A cry was let out; from Carlos. I could tell from the meowing that followed. Dimentio disappeared, becoming invisible. I stayed put for a minute, but decided, what would be the harm in taking a little peek at what was going on.

Down the next hallway were Carlos and Conrad. I'd never before seen them fighting, but when they fought, they were completely opposite their personalities. Their faces were determined and evil, and they swung hard punches at a short, fat plumber in red overalls. Mario had gotten into the castle. Had he been coming for Dimentio?

As Mario leaped into the air to tackle Carlos from above, Conrad jumped up, kicking Mario's ass and sending him flying into the wall behind them. Mario jumped up immediately, showing no pain, and running for Conrad. The twin grabbed Mario's head, swung him around, and threw him into the ceiling. He hit his head, and fell to the floor, unconscious. Carlos and Conrad gave each other a high-five.

"Ah ha ha ha ha...excellent!" Dimentio exclaimed, appearing above the twins. "This is perfect! Mario's extinction is perfect to move forward with everything..."

"Does he have a Pure Heart with him, boss?" Carlos asked. Dimentio dug into the man's pockets, then shook his head. "Nothing. He's smart. He knew we were going to defeat him." He winked.

"Defeat me?" Mario suddenly jumped back up, his fists up and defending himself. "That is your plan? To collect the Pure Hearts?"

Dimentio smiled. "Ah ha ha ha...a spy for Blumiere and Timpani, are you? Or are you here for some other reason? A certain princess, perhaps?"

Mario gasped. "Release her!" he yelled. Dimentio chuckled. "As you wish."

From behind me stepped out Princess Peach. She walked slowly, smiling when she saw Mario. "Mario! You've come to save me! Hee hee!" She walked over slowly to Mario, who looked happy. Princess Peach stared at Dimentio, who winked at her. The princess didn't seem phased.

"Well, off you go!" Dimentio exclaimed, snapping his fingers. The two disappeared, and the twins, Dimentio, and I stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds before I spoke.

"Why did you send them off like that?" I asked. Dimentio chuckled. "Ah ha ha ha ha...don't worry, Mario won't be going anywhere in the future besides the Underwhere."

I didn't reply. What was that supposed to mean? And what about Peach, was she going to have her game ended too?

Carlos suddenly started screaming, and we all turned to him. "What is it, brother?" Conrad asked, which probably wasn't a good idea. Carlos grinned oddly at his twin, then took his shirt off. "LOL!" he shouted. Everyone glared at him, and he darted off down the hallway.

"Well, Conrad, why don't you go get him back, and Amanda, find O'Chunks. I'll see how everything is going with Mario, then we'll go off again to find the rest of the Pure Hearts as the Dark Prognosticus wants us to," Dimentio said. Conrad nodded once, running off, and Dimentio teleported away, leaving me stranded in the hallway alone. I walked off aimlessly through the black hallways, trying to find where O'Chunks would be. I peeked into some of the rooms, seeing if he was in any of them, but most were empty, probably filled with traps. Finally, I opened a door to find O'Chunks sitting by himself, writing in a little pink journal. When he turned to see it was me, he threw the book into the corner and put up his hands. "I swears I wasn't writin' a diary! It ain't mine, I swear!"

I laughed. "That's alright, O'Chunks. Dimentio needs you to get the next Pure Heart, he sent me to find you."

The thug stood, stretching his back. "All o' these Pure Hearts are screwin' wiff my head. Why do we need all o' them anyway? We're better than all o' them!"

I shrugged, finding slight difficulty in following his accent as we headed off to the front of the castle. "Maybe th-"

"An' I don't even want teh be on Dimentier's team! Mario's adorable, wiff 'is little bushy 'stache and 'is fat belly! Teh only reason I stay 'ere is cause Mimi won't leave! Methinks she still 'as a little crush on Dimentier, an' it pisses me teh hell off!" O'Chunks interrupted, obviously getting angry. I inched away slowly. "Um, I don't think she does, O'Chunks, I hones-"

"Well, I know it! I know she does!" he stormed down the hallway angrily, and I watched him, confused. That certainly didn't go how I imagined it would have.

When I entered the front hallway of the castle, I walked straight into something. I grunted, then looked up to see what I bumped into. There was nothing there. I looked around, to see if it had moved...but there was nothing. I heard a low chuckle, and Dimentio appeared in front of me. I sighed, and he laughed. "Who else would it be?"

"Me!" Carlos said, appearing a few feet away. "I can be invisible too!"

"Myself as well," Conrad said, appearing behind Dimentio. The jester scowled, and the twins laughed at him. They appeared at his sides, each leaning on one of his shoulders. "But we won't get in his way," Carlos said. "Because boss has a crush on you."

Dimentio's eyes widened, and he turned to glare at the boy. Carlos smirked. "See, see, see, he's not denying it!"

"I am not denying it because it is painfully obvious that I don't 'crush'," the jester said calmly with a smile. Conrad chuckled and shook his head. "I beg to differ, boss, but you do indeed."

The jester rolled his eyes, snapping his fingers and exploding the twins. They reappeared a few seconds later a few feet away. I was blushing, for sure. Carlos must have noticed, because he came over and started poking my cheeks. "Tomato face, tomato face, tomato face, tomato face..." he sang. I blushed again, and Dimentio grabbed Carlos by the shoulder and pulled him away.

Princess Peach suddenly appeared behind the boys, saving me from further awkwardness. My eyebrows shot up. How did she get there? What was she doing? But she smiled, and said, "Heehee, hello there!"

Dimentio and the twins turned around to face her, and she smiled. "Mario is all taken care of, lovelies!"

"Marvelous!" Dimentio said, grinning. I stared, confused. What was going on? Did Dimentio form some sort of alliance with the princess? What happened?

But Peach just laughed. "Your face is priceless, kid," she said, and with a puff of purple smoke, she turned into the ruby-obsessed girl, Mimi. Everything clicked then. Dimentio had sent Mimi to a different place with Mario, and she must have finally defeated him there.

I shrugged, and Dimentio chuckled, his gaze set on my face. Again I blushed. His grin widened even more. "Well, Carlos, I suppose the time to celebrate would be now. One of our biggest threats is defeated, thanks to Mimi."

"I helped!" Carlos exclaimed, doing another little dance. Conrad raised an eyebrow. "How? All you have done is sit here in the castle."

"Oh, you'll never know!" Carlos cackled, skipping down the hallway and up the stairs. Conrad rolled his eyes, and he and Mimi started chatting about her defeating of Mario. I glanced at Dimentio, who winked at me and disappeared. I sighed, shoving my hands in my pockets and trailing behind Conrad and Mimi down the maze of the hallways of Castle Dimentio.


	7. s i x

s i x

The night was dark, and cool. I couldn't sleep, so I just stood on the balcony outside my room, staring at the dark purple sky and the bright purple moon above it. It was a little chilly out, and I shivered as a cool breeze swept by me. My eyes closed slightly, but I didn't want to go to sleep quite yet. The night was memorable, and I didn't want it to end.

From down the hall, there was suddenly a crash. I sighed and ran to see what it was, and standing there was Carlos, a broken lantern smashed on the floor. He blushed. "Sorry," he whispered. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was up," I said. He shrugged. "Oh. Well, I was going to wake you up anyway, so if you were sleeping it wouldn't make a difference to me anyway."

I rolled my eyes at him. "What is it?"

"I can't sleep," he whined, a little louder. I shushed him. "Everyone's sleeping, you have to be quiet. Anyway, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Fix it!" he screamed, sprawling out on the floor and bursting into tears. I rolled my eyes, trailing into my room and collapsing into the huge black bed waiting for me. I could still hear him out in the hallway, screaming and crying like an infant. But after a few minutes, there was a loud bang, and he was quiet. I sat up, wondering what was going on, and walked outside.

There, Mimi stood with a pot in her hands, and Carlos lay unconscious on the ground. I couldn't help but burst out in laughter, and the other girl smirked. After I quieted, we both sighed. "He's the most annoying boy," Mimi said, and I nodded in agreement. She scowled. "I won't be able to get back to sleep for a while now, the damn kid's woken me up..."

"I haven't fallen asleep yet at all," I said matter-of-factly. She snorted, tossing the pot to the side. "Help me drag him into his room?" she asked, and I nodded. We each took hold of one of his wrists and started dragging him down the hallway to where his room was.

"So the twins tell me about Dimentio's big crush on you," Mimi said, smirking a little. I laughed. "Oh no, we've only met a few days ago, and he doesn't love."

"That's what he says," she sang, pushing open a bedroom door. She pushed my hand out of the way and took Carlos' wrists in her hands, and I grabbed his ankles. We pulled him into the room and threw him onto his bed, and he laid there, motionless. I sighed, shaking my head at him. "What an asshole," I muttered. Mimi laughed. "You're all assholes," she said, and I couldn't tell if she was talking to me or herself.

We walked out of the room silently, and awkwardly parted and walked back to our rooms. As I walked back to mine, I saw a soft glow coming from the next room over. That was the meeting room; who was in there? No one in our little alliance glowed...

Curiously I tip-toed into the doorway of the room and peeked in. A book set down on a stool was lit up, its pages glowing in the darkness of the black castle. There didn't seem to be anyone else in the room, so I walked over to the book. There was a convenient set of matches on top of the book, and I lit a candle with one. I sat on the stool with the glowing book in hand, opening it. I glared down at the glowing letters on the page:

"_The hearts obtained are sham._"

"I don't even know what sham means," I muttered, closing the book and placing it back on the stool. I stood up, stretching. It was still the middle of the night, and no one else in the castle was awake. I shuffled out of the room and back into mine, closing the door behind me and curling up under the covers. I stared at a candle I had lit across the room, not able to close my eyes. I couldn't help but just think that maybe, somehow, Mimi and the twins were right. Could Dimentio possibly...? No, it wasn't possible. Dimentio was a villain, an evil boy who wanted to end the existence of the worlds so that he could create his own perfect world. That was all he wanted. Not love, not friends...just power over everyone.

I didn't sleep all that night. The next morning, I tiredly shuffled out of my room, only to find the twins waiting for me outside. Conrad still looked sleepy. He was still wearing his satin blue pajamas and nightcap, and he was yawning when I walked toward them. Carlos, however, was wearing a dashing black tuxedo, and he looked to be ready for something very important.

"What are you wearing?" I asked him, and he grinned. "Boss said we're going to get the next three Pure Hearts!"

"Next three? Aren't there 7? What about the last one?" I asked. Carlos shrugged. "Who cares? I get to go to outer space and wear this sexy suit to do it! Boss said it himself! He said, 'I give you permission to wear that sexy suit, Carlos, because I love you.'"

"Did he really?" I muttered sarcastically, rolling my eyes and walking down the hall. He laughed. "Of course not! Boss hates me. He actually said, 'If it pleases you.' And then he floated away."

"That sounds more like him," I said. Carlos laughed, holding my hand and starting to skip. "C'mon, Amanda! Skip with me, I know you want to!"

"It's too early to skip," I moaned. Conrad cleared his throat behind us. "If you don't skip with him early, he'll be cranky all day. Make your choice wisely."

I groaned, skipping with Carlos to the front hallway. He laughed maniacally, flailing and waving to the dark sky watching him through the windows. When we met up with Dimentio, Mimi, and O'Chunks, I was exhausted. Carlos gave me a peck on the cheek, and I blushed, not making eye contact with anyone. Carlos giggled, tousling my hair. Mimi snorted, and O'Chunks smiled softly. Conrad yawned, and Dimentio rolled his eyes. The jester snapped his fingers, and everyone instantly stopped talking. He grinned.

"Ah ha ha ha ha...oh, how sweet the power of magic!" he exclaimed. "Carlos, Conrad, to outer space you go!" Dimentio snapped his fingers, and the twins disappeared. He smiled. "Now that they're out of the way, the rest of us can have a nice, peaceful morning."

"Aww, we don't get teh get teh Pure Hearts too, Dimentier?" O'Chunks asked, disappointed. Dimentio smirked. "Well of course, O'Chunks, if you want to get the next Heart in the town of Crag, then by all means, get out of my face."

"Eh, tat's better! Mimi, let's go, eh?" the thug said, running out of the castle happily. Mimi rolled her eyes. "This is what I get up early for?" she snapped, walking away. Dimentio grinned, turning to me. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha...the castle is finally quiet! Goodnight." With that, he started hovering down the hallway. My eyebrows shot up, and I followed him. "Wait a second, you mean we're not going to Sammer's Kingdom to get the 7th...?"

He turned. "Would you like to?"

I shrugged. "I mean, that's what the Dark Prognosticus wants you to do, right?"

He grinned. "I've taught you well," he sang, and he snapped his fingers. The two of us disappeared, reappearing in Sammer's Kingdom. We reappeared right in front of King Sammer himself, and he screamed, backing away slowly. "D-Dimentio! Not you!" he shouted. He started running in circles, panicked. "There's no way! Someone help me! Someone help!"

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha...hush, King, hush!" Dimentio exclaimed, hovering closer to the King. He backed up, frightened, against the wall behind him, covering his face from the terrifying jester. Dimentio laughed. "Don't be scared, I won't hurt your little kingdom just yet. All I want is a little treasure called, hmm...the Pure Heart."

"P-Pure Heart? Why would you want that? Y-you have the Chaos Heart, no?" King Sammer squeaked, trying to back up into the wall as much as possible. Dimentio's grin widened. "If I can destroy the Pure Hearts first..."

"No! I can't let you have it!" Sammer shouted, trying to run away. Dimentio kicked him back, however, and his grin just widened more. "I am going to give you one chance to give me the Pure Heart," he said in a hushed tone. "One chance, and if you give it to me, I'll let your kingdom live. But if you refuse..." He stepped back and snapped his fingers, and a plant in the corner of the room we stood in exploded into ash. Sammer squeaked, scared, and Dimentio chuckled. "I can destroy this entire world with a simple snap of my fingers, my king. Now, can you give me the Pure Heart?"

Sammer nodded, pointing to the throne he sat on. Dimentio glanced at me and nodded, and I pursed my lips, pushing the throne out of the way. Under if was a small trap door, and I opened it to find the Pure Heart. I pulled it out, handing it to Dimentio, who exploded it with his fingers. King Sammer burst into tears.

"That's all for now, King. Ciao!" Dimentio exclaimed, taking my arm in his hand. Just as he was about to snap his fingers to teleport us back to the castle, someone behind us cleared their throat loudly. "Not so fast, Dimentio."

We both turned, and there stood Dimentio's biggest living threats, Blumiere and Timpani. Blumiere smiled, pointing his staff at the jester. "Nice to finally meet you again, hmm?"


	8. s e v e n

s e v e n

"Ah ha ha ha...what a lovely surprise! It's been long since I've seen you two, how have you been doing?" Dimentio exclaimed, clapping his hands together and hovering closer to the couple.

Blumiere shoved Timpani behind him, narrowing his eyes. "Lovely, until we heard you were alive and trying to take over the worlds," he snarled. He looked nothing different than how I imagined him to be; tall and slim, with long blue hair and bright orange eyes. He draped his white cape over Timpani protectively, and she glared at me with bright green eyes. I almost shuddered.

"But the news is lovely! I will have my perfect world!" Dimentio exclaimed, grinning at them. Blumiere shook his head, his staff pointed directly at the jester. "Not lovely at all! Give up now, Dimentio, or suffer!"

Dimentio laughed. "Suffer? Suffer how, my count? Are you going to beat me with your staff?" He swooped down, snatching the staff right out of Blumiere's hands and tossing it to the side. Blumiere scowled, jumping and grabbing it right back. "I still have leftover power from when I was Bleck, Dimentio! I can take you out quickly if I want to!"

Dimentio grinned. "Is that so?"

"Indeed it is!" Blumiere shouted, leaping for the jester. Dimentio simply moved to the side, and Blumiere fell to the ground with a grunt. Dimentio chuckled. "My, my, how powerful you are! I don't think I'll survive this battle!"

Blumiere rolled his eyes, standing up and fixing his top. "Mark my words, you won't survive," he said. His gaze lowered from Dimentio's eyes to mine. "Who's this?"

Dimentio grinned. "This is my forever-loyal and ever-so-loving Amanda," he said, winking at me. I bit my lip. Blumiere and Timpani were some of my favorite characters, and the impression I'd given them was terrible. Blumiere raised an eyebrow. "That so?"

I nodded slowly, glancing at Dimentio, who winked again. "Well, now that we've introduced each other, Amanda and I must be off, we have some important business to take care of."

"You're not going anywhere except the Underwhere!" Blumiere said, striking Dimentio's face with his staff. The jester put his hand over the wound, which was probably bleeding and bruised. However, when not in his castle, he wore his mask, so I couldn't tell if he was alright or not. However, he simply smiled. "Alright, we have time. Let's have a magic show!"

And with that, Dimentio disappeared, leaving Blumiere, Timpani, and I awkwardly standing there staring at each other. Timpani suddenly leaped forward onto me, wrestling me onto the floor. "Fight Dimentio, I'll take the kid!" she yelled to him, and Blumiere nodded, trying to find the invisible jester.

Timpani was stronger than she looked, and I couldn't see with her dirty blonde curls falling in my face. I kicked her off of me and she fell backwards onto the ground with a grunt. I jumped up, looking to see if Dimentio had reappeared to fight Blumiere. However, all that could be seen was Blumiere, looking around to find Dimentio. "Come out of your hiding, you coward!" he yelled out. Dimentio laughed, still invisible. "You'll never find me!" he said, and Blumiere was suddenly pushed to the floor.

I smiled as I watched, but hands grabbed my ankles down and pulled me onto the ground. Timpani tackled me, bringing her arm back to punch me. I cried out for help, squeezing my eyes shut, bracing for pain. However, nothing happened. I opened one eye, and Timpani looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I can't hurt a little girl, she's only a kid!" she said sadly. I grinned at this, jumping up and running away. Timpani gasped. "Hey! Get back here!"

I jumped on top of a ledge on the wall, barely reaching it at my height. I swung my legs over, standing on top of it so that no one could reach me. Timpani jumped up and tried to grab my feet to pull me off, but I kicked her hands away. After a while of trying to pull me down, she stopped, panting and tired.

I smiled and looked up at Blumiere and Dimentio. The jester had finally appeared for Blumiere, but to keep it challenging, he had cloned himself into about 10 different Dimentio's. "Which one's the real Dimentio? Catch me if you can!" they all shouted, shooting purple and yellow energy spheres at Blumiere. He dove out of the way to avoid them, but the Dimentio clones just kept shooting them. I examined every single clone to try and find which one was the real Dimentio, but they all looked the same to me.

Suddenly, Blumiere held his staff up, pointing it at one of the Dimentio clones. A ray of dark energy shot at the clone, and it disappeared. The count shot these rays at each and every single clone, and they all disappeared except for one, which shot back. That Dimentio, the real Dimentio, laughed. "Is that all you've got, count? I could take those hits all day if I had to!" With that, he snapped his fingers, and two missiles shot at Blumiere. He fell onto his back hard, and the missiles exploded on the ground in front of him.

Dimentio grinned, floating over to Timpani and I, and smiled. "Having fun?" he winked at me, then glared down at Timpani. "Sweet Timpani, I almost forgot about you!"

"Oh, shut up," she said, pushing the jester away. He laughed, hovering right back in front of her. "Your attacks are weak, and have no effect on me. Here, I'll give you one free shot. Hit me as hard as you can."

Timpani didn't hesitate to leap forward and punch the jester as hard as she could in his gut. Dimentio showed no pain, but simply laughed at her. "That's all you've got? Oh come now, you have to be stronger than that."

Again, she punched him, and Dimentio's laughs only got louder and harder. "You are so weak!" he exclaimed. He raised his arms, then thrust them down, shooting two spheres of energy at the girl. She collapsed, unconscious, on the ground.

"What did you do?" Blumiere screamed, running over. He apparently only just regained enough consciousness from Dimentio's last hit, and he knelt down at Timpani's side in tears. "Is she...dead?"

"Ah ha ha ha...," Dimentio cackled. "Dead? No, not quite yet, my count. She will return. But she doesn't matter anymore to our battle. Is this a surrender, or will you fight to the end?"

Blumiere growled. "As much as I'd love to stay and end you once and for all for doing this," he muttered. "I need to get Timpani to safety..."

"So you are...surrendering?" Dimentio asked, his grin happier and more evil than it had ever been. Blumiere hung his head. "For now," he said. "Only for now."

Dimentio applauded. "Excellent! It was a pleasure fighting with you, Blumiere, I'll be looking forward to next time. That is...if you're alive for a next time! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...ciao!" And with that, Dimentio and I disappeared from Sammer's Kingdom and arrived back in his castle.

"Boss! Boss! Boss! We have the Pure Heart!" Carlos was standing right in front of us when we appeared inside the castle, and held a light blue Pure Heart out for Dimentio. The jester grinned, taking it from him and letting it burst in his hands. Carlos clapped, running away and shouting for his brother. I rolled my eyes, and Dimentio and I followed.

"Where are O'Chunks and Mimi?" I asked, and Dimentio shrugged. "I suppose th-"

"DIMENTIER! I 'ave teh Pure Heart!" O'Chunks yelled from behind us, as if on cue. Dimentio and I both turned, and there stood O'Chunks by himself, holding the dark blue Pure Heart. Dimentio grinned, hovering over and taking it. The heart exploded in his grasp, and Dimentio laughed at the explosion. He glanced up at O'Chunks. "Where is Mimi...?"

"In 'er room," he sighed. "She didn't come with meh to start with."

Dimentio raised an eyebrow, but shook his head and dismissed it. "Ah, all is well and fine as long as we are following the Dark Prognosticus and the Pure Hearts are gone for good."

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><p><em>AN: Review? c:_


	9. e i g h t

_A/N: I was a bit off when I wrote this so it might be a little O_O._

_The second to last paragraph, the yummy one, is all credit to Flo ^-^ Because I suck at everything. So please glomp her lots because she deserves it. :3_

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><p>e i g h t<p>

"HA! Checkmate!"

"Nope," I said with a smile as I moved my king in my and Carlos' chess game. He burst out into tears, and I sighed, waiting for him to make another move. Conrad, reading a book in the corner, crawled over and pushed the weeping Carlos out of the way. "This is ridiculous," he said, and he continued the chess game with me. It was quite a relief, playing with someone who knew what they were doing.

Mimi and O'Chunks had gone off to search for the 8th Pure Heart, on Dimentio's command. The jester had also demanded that I entertain the twins while he took a nap. Conrad was easy to please; just hand him a long book and he would be set for the day. But Carlos had a short attention span, so I had to constantly come up with something else to do.

When the chess game ended, Conrad returned to his book and I quickly went through all of the things in the room to find something to do. "Um, here Carlos, let's uh...here, here's some matches, you want to set these...unnecessary papers on fire?"

Carlos' eyes twinkled at this. "Oh, yes, that'd be perfect!" he exclaimed, running forward and grabbing the matches. He lit one, then set flame to a blank piece of paper, and then burst out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "Let's do it again!"

I set the stack of blank paper in front of him and he sat, lighting them on fire. Conrad glared at me from across the room, and I shrugged. Then, Conrad's eyes widened, and he stood up and grinned evilly. I raised an eyebrow at him, then turned around. There stood a tall, skinny man with a green shirt and hat, overalls, and white gloves. I gasped.

"Luigi?" I asked, and he grinned. "The one and only!"

Carlos jumped up, and he and Conrad stood next to each other, already prepared for a fight. "What do you want, coward?" they asked simultaneously, and Luigi jumped, startled by their synchronized words. "Eh? I only want to get revenge for you ending my big bro's game!"

"If a fight is what you want..." Carlos said, jumping up and aiming a kick at Luigi's face. The man in green shrieked and jumped to the side, shaking his head violently. "No, no, no! I don't want a fight!"

"Then what exactly do you want?" Conrad asked, an eyebrow raised. Luigi placed a hand on his chin, deep in thought. After a moment or two, he snapped his fingers. "Aha! I got it!"

"What?" the twins asked, grinning. Luigi put his hands up. "I-I told you I didn't want to fight! Just tell me your plans so that my p-partners can fight you!"

The twins' eyebrows shot up, and they glanced at me. "We can't tell him our plans, can we?"

I watched as Luigi shook; with fear, nervousness, or anger, I couldn't tell. How terrible it would be to lose your brother, I thought. I sighed, thinking. If I shared fake plans, led him off course, we would have an advantage. He'd go tell Blumiere and Timpani, and they would be completely off track from everything...

"Well, we're simply collecting the Pure Hearts and destroying all of them! That way you have absolutely no defense against us, and we can beat you up for good! Then we're going to take out you and Blumiere and Timpani forever, and do whatever boss tells us to do because he has the Dark Prognosticus to lead him in the right direction! We have Peach, to lure you all here to battle us, because you'll want to take her back. Oh! Also, we're brainwashing everyone in the worlds we take over too, so that-"

Conrad slapped Carlos hard across the face, stopping his spilling of the things we were doing. Luigi grinned in victory, dashing away. "I did it! I did it! I did it!" he exclaimed, running away and out of the castle.

Conrad and I glared at Carlos, who blushed. "What? He lost his big brother! I couldn't just not tell him anything!"

"Look, it's not a big deal," I said, laughing. "We just have to pretend that that was just to lead them off course, and we'll just come up with something different! We don't need Peach to take over the worlds, right? It's not a big deal!"

Carlos smiled, sticking his tongue out at his brother. "See, she's nice!"

Carlos went back to setting paper on fire, and Conrad and I watched. After a few minutes, Conrad started telling me all about the amazing book he was reading, but I blocked him out, not interested in what he was saying whatsoever. Suddenly, a hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me away. Conrad didn't seem to notice the invisible figure dragging me out of the room, he just sat and continued ranting about his book. In the hallway, the person became visible and turned out to be Dimentio, an angry glare on his face. I pursed my lips. What was this mood?

Dimentio yanked me into the other room, slamming the door behind him. I stared blankly at him, confused. He seemed so angry. Why was he mad?

"I don't believe this," he snarled. I raised an eyebrow. "Don't believe what?"

"They spilled all of our plans to Luigi! He's the one who is trying to end our games, the one who wants to stop all of this! And you _let _them! You just stood there!" he yelled, turning to me with angry eyes. This is the first I'd seen him so angry. Usually, he pushed through these things with a smile on his face and a few jokes to crack. Yet for some reason, this destroyed something for him. This was the last straw, and he wasn't taking it easily.

"I'm sure we can lead him off course now, or come up with something different...? It's not the end of the world," I said, taking a step back. He'd gotten up from leaning on the wall and was pacing back and forth, inching closer to me with each pace. Something about this attitude scared me, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

"Lead him off course? How can we lead him off course if those morons already told him what we're planning to do? And come up with something different? The Dark Prognosticus won't al-"

"Screw the Dark Prognosticus!" I yelled, taking him aback. He looked up at me, his angry glare calming down a bit. "When Count Bleck tried to take over the worlds with it, did everything end up in his power? No, because Mario and his team ended up counteracting it with the Light Prognosticus! They still have it, Dimentio, and even if you go by its instructions, there's a chance you'll be defeated anyway! If you pretend you're using the instruction from the Dark Prognosticus, they'll try to counteract it with the Light, but if you create your own plan, you can-"

In the middle of my sentence, the jester silenced me by capturing my lips in a kiss. My eyes went wide, before they slowly closed as I melted into the sensation. His lips were soft, and tasted sweet. Dimentio's tongue ran across my lips, as if he were asking for permission to enter my mouth. Reluctantly, I opened my mouth a bit and allowed the boy entrance. His tongue rubbed against mine, leaving me breathless. A small moan escaped my throat, and was lost in the kiss. I'd never been kissed like this before; hell, it was my first kiss. And I loved every second of it.

"BOSS!" Carlos screamed from the hallway, and Dimentio growled, pulling away slowly. He rested his forehead on mine, staring into my eyes. He smirked, and I blushed. "Ciao, my love," he murmured, then disappeared into thin air. I stood still for a moment, catching my breath and thinking, what the hell had just happened?


	10. n i n e

_A/N: I had to completely rewrite this because Erik wanted to write a scene for it =_=" xD So; the hot part is all his doing. Lots of applause.3_

_Review? c:_

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><p>n i n e<p>

It was night again. I couldn't stop playing the day's events in my head. I couldn't believe what Dimentio had done. It couldn't have really happened, could it? I sighed. The night was brighter and clearer than usual. The balcony floor was cold under my bare feet, but the air was humid and hot. In my hand I held a candle, lit with a black flame. Somehow, it gave off a bright white light, and it lit up the terrace I stood on so I could see.

I leaned on the side of the balcony, putting my chin in my hand, staring at the yellow moon. What was going to happen when Blumiere, Timpani, and Luigi were defeated? Were all of the worlds going to end? Were all of the innocent people going to be brainwashed and taken over? Or worse, killed?

Suddenly, there was someone next to me, leaning on me. I turned my head, and there stood Dimentio, staring at the moon as well. He wasn't in costume, which was odd; simply in a purple tank, black shorts, and yellow socks. I stared at him blankly, and he smirked. "It's quite hot tonight, mm?"

I looked away. "Yeah," I said, crossing my arms and looking at the moon. And with that, his lips were on mine, and he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I jumped at the suddenness of it, but returned the kiss. My lips moved with his, and he pushed me back into a wall. A gloved hand snaked up my shirt and onto the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. His hand slid up my back, under my shirt, removing it. My heart stopped, and he shrugged off his own. What was he doing? Again, his lips met mine with a growl, this time even more rough than before, if that was possible. His hands pinned me to the wall. He pulled away, and whispered my name to himself. He placed his hands on my waist, sensing my slight discomfort and not going any further. My heart sped, and his lips met mine once more, his tongue intruding and dancing with mine. This time, the kiss was slower, gentler, more passionate, and it gave me goosebumps. He pulled me closer, then broke the kiss, resting his forehead on mine.

"I have something for you," he whispered, snapping his fingers and a rose appearing between them. It was a vibrant red, not fitting in with the dark purple and black atmosphere, but beautiful nonetheless. He took my hand in his and placed the rose in it, a smirk on his face. I stared at the flower. Dimentio, his lips now at my ear, murmured, "The day it dies is the day we'll part."

My heart pounded faster. Where did this side of him come from? "I thought you said love didn't h-"

"Ciao, sleep tight," he winked, disappearing. I blinked, looking at the rose in my hand. Was he playing a joke...or being serious? I trailed back to bed, placing the rose on a table near me and curling up. My eyes drifted closed, a smile on my face. How was this all happening?

The next morning, I awoke early. It seemed much too bright for this castle today. I peered out the window. The sky wasn't it's normal dark shade of violet, but instead, a brighter, happier shade. I smiled.

I could hear Carlos making odd noises from his room down the hallway from in my own. I walked down the hallway and knocked on the door, and it fell off its hinges, and onto the floor. I stared at it, but then looked up. My jaw dropped at the sight. Carlos had somehow managed to get a Jacuzzi into his room, and he was sitting in it, singing. "What are you doing?"

"Oh! Amanda! What perfect timing! Come, grab a bathing suit and join me! We're having an exciting adventure with the fishes!" Carlos exclaimed, motioning for me to come over. I hesitantly stepped forward, peering into the water. Across the top of the Jacuzzi were about 20 dead fish. I stared at them. "Um, Carlos... those fish are all dead..."

He laughed. "No they're not, silly! They're asleep!"

The poor, innocent boy grinned at me. I sighed. "I don't want to sit in your hot tub with you and your...pets..."

"Oh don't worry! They'll wake up soon, and it'll be fun! We'll all play together!" he said, doing a small dance. I cringed. Did he seriously believe the fish were just sleeping? "I have no suit."

"Oh, I'm sure there's one in my closet somewhere! I get a lot of action with the ladies, so I keep a lot of extras in there." I sighed, trailing across the room and opening his closet. I was met with a pile of clothing, all of various neon colors. I blinked. "Uh, Carlos?"

"In the box to the left!" he laughed, and I turned. To the left there was, in fact, a box. I reached inside it. There was only one thing in it, and I took it out. It was a one-piece suit. However, it certainly was not one I really wanted to wear. It was normal waist-up, however, there was a long puffy skirt from the bottom, which would definitely go up to my knees at the least. It was hot pink, with hexagons of assorted colors all over it. I glared at the boy in the hot tub. "What kind of ladies are you talking about, Carlos?"

He laughed. "Sexy ones!"

I sighed, walking back to my room and putting on the suit. It was huge, not fitting at all. Why was I doing this again? I opened my closet, just out of curiosity, and out of pure luck found a normal suit laying on the top of a box. I smiled, slipping that on and dashing back into Carlos' room. Conrad stood there in a bright red Speedo, and he flushed when I walked in. "Greetings, Amanda. What brings you in here...?"

"Moron asked me to swim with him and his fish," I said, staring at Carlos. He was licking one of his dead fish, talking to it like it was a baby. I sighed, looking back at Conrad, who was watching his brother in genuine concern. We both sat in the hot tub next to him, Conrad placing his hand on Carlos' shoulder. "Carlos...that fish is dead."

Carlos laughed. "Amanda said the same thing! You're both stupid. He's only sleeping!"

Conrad and I glanced at each other, and then back at Carlos. Conrad sighed. "Okay, Carlos. You have to listen to me," he said softly. "You're not smart. Actually, you're very dumb, and you don't know a thing about fish slumber or death. I however, can tell you that all of these fish are very dead. The heat of the water most likely killed them."

Carlos stared at the fish in his hands, his face growing sad. "What kind of world is this that fish can't happily have exciting adventures in a hot tub?" he said sadly. Conrad hugged him, and Carlos burst out in tears on his shoulder. Conrad mouthed to me to start clearing the fish, and I nodded. I got out of the Jacuzzi, taking the dead fish and tossing them out the window into the depths of nothing. Just in time for this sight, Dimentio appeared in the door, and he cleared his throat loudly. We all turned to him. He was now in full costume, hat and mask as well. He stared at Conrad embracing a crying Carlos in the hot tub, and then at me with my crazy bathing suit and fish in my fists. I expected him to yell at us, but instead, he burst out laughing. "The fuck is going on in here?"

Carlos looked up. "My fish are all- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He jumped up, glowering at me. I dropped the dead fish on the floor, raising my hands in defense. He crawled out of his hot tub and charged at me, though I didn't move because I was too distracted by the glow of his neon pink and orange striped swim trunks. Suddenly, he was in front of me. I thought he was going to punch me, with the look on his face, but instead, he dropped to the ground, bursting out in tears. "I'm sorry Amanda! I didn't mean to be scary, all I wanted was my fish and you got me so angry because you were throwing them away and now we can't have proper funerals for them, and I was just so ANGRY, and I didn't mean to-"

And he disappeared. Dimentio had teleported him away. Conrad stood up, looking quite stupid in his Speedo. Dimentio glared at him, and his eyes widened. "Conrad! What the fuck are you wearing?"

"My bathing suit, boss, what else?" he said casually, getting out of the hot tub and trailing down the hallway. Dimentio started laughing again, then glanced at what I was wearing. "What even..."

"Don't ask," I mumbled, shaking my head. I headed out of the room, going back to mine to change. As I changed into sweatpants and a tee, I heard yelling from down the hall again. This time, it wasn't Carlos, or Conrad, or even Dimentio. It was Mimi and O'Chunks. I ran out to see what was going on, only to see O'Chunks storming out of the castle. I glanced at Mimi, who looked furious.

"That bastard touched my rubies!" she screamed, stomping her foot. "He was only dating me so that he could get his hands all over my gems! That asshole!"

"Uh, Mimi, I don't think it was your jewels he was after..." Carlos winked as he and his brother came up behind me, their moods obviously changed. Mimi shrieked, again stomping her foot. "Ugh! What is WRONG with everyone? O'Chunks is a liar, Carlos is a perv, Conrad is a nerd, Dimentio is mean, Amanda is just a crazy bitch in general...am I the only sane one here?"

"'Nerd' seems like a very derogatory term in this context...I do believe the term you're looking for is, say, 'sexily intelligent'," Conrad said, grinning. This just pissed Mimi off more. "Ugh! I hate all of you!" And with that, she stormed into her room, slamming the door closed.

"Do you think my tits joke was a bit offensive?" Carlos asked, very confused. I shook my head. At that moment, Dimentio decided to appear. "What just happened?"

"O'Chunks only loves Mimi for her tits," Carlos said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Boys these days. We're disgusting. I hate boys."

Dimentio stared at him for a second, then shook his head. "Well, where's O'Chunks?" Conrad cleared his throat. "Gone."


	11. t e n

_A/N: This took way too long to write. Way too many summer projects. What the hell.  
>Uh, this is probably the most pointless chapter out of all of them.<br>I definitely needed some quality time with the twins.  
>Review please? :x<em>

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><p>t e n<p>

It had been a week since O'Chunks' departure from the group. Everything had been quite gloomy ever since. Mimi did not once come out of her room, which was actually unexpected. The twins took a break from constantly teasing the girl, which made the castle a bit quieter. Even Dimentio, who had been so anxious to find the last Pure Heart and destroy it, had somewhat relaxed and wasn't pushing to continue with the Dark Prognosticus' plans.

Until, of course, the 8th day since O'Chunks had left arrived.

I opened my eyes slowly, sitting up and squinting. Somehow, I was being blinded by light. How was this happening? The castle was always dark...

"Are you up?" a voice hissed, and I nodded slowly. The light disappeared, and I opened my eyes a little more. There stood Carlos, holding a flashlight. I glared at him, and he grinned. "Today, we're going to cheer up Mimi! She's so boring lately, and I've been so bored because no one is talking, and I need your help because Conrad won't do it! I asked Boss, but he hit me with a metal pole. I don't know where he got that from. Who keeps metal poles in their bedrooms when they sleep? Anyway, you're my last hope! Please come with me, I can't face the demon girl alone!"

I sighed. "Fine..."

"Yay! Oh, thank you Amanda, you're my only friend!" he exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and dragging me down the hallway. He was stronger than he seemed. I yanked my arm out of his grip and scowled at him, then followed him to Mimi's room.

When we reached her door, Carlos cleared his throat loudly and pulled, from his pocket, a sledge hammer. My eyes widened and I tried to pull it away from him, but he was too fast. He slammed the hammer into the door, making a huge hole in it, and through it, we saw Mimi. She had been sadly admiring her ruby collection, but she screamed with terror as Carlos' hammer crashed through the door. When she realized who it was, she grew angry. Carlos, however, smiled a goofy grin. "We have come to your rescue, Mimi!"

"What are you doing? What happened to my door?" Mimi shrieked, strutting over and gaping at the huge hole. I bit my lip and tried to move out of her sight, not wanting to have to take any blame for helping create this, but she saw me. "And you let him do this? You bitch!"

"We're here to make you happy!" Carlos beamed, but Mimi slapped him. "By breaking my door? Ugh! The only thing that would make me happy is O'Chunks!" And with that, the girl rolled under her bed, and we could hear her loud sobs.

Carlos sighed, looking at me and shaking his head. "That was terrible, Amanda. You're not very good at cheering people up." He turned and started walking away, and I glared at the back of his stupid head. Was he serious? I darted after him, and he suddenly stopped and whirled around. I ran into him, and stumbled backwards onto the floor. "I have the greatest idea!" he exclaimed. "Amanda, this is it! We're going to find O'Chunks! _Together!_"

I groaned, and he nodded anxiously. "It'll be fun! We can use our animal mating calls to get his attention! Here, let me teach you!" he said, and began flapping his arms and making a noise that sounded like he was trying to make himself puke. I backed away slowly.

Conrad suddenly came running down the hallway. "Carlos! Are you okay? You sound like you're dying! Oh, you're just trying to find a mate..." He shook his head, his gaze shifting to me. "Boss and I have decided to start training him not to do these things. When he does, scold him. When he's being quiet, give him one of these." The twin reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of small cookies and threw them at me. I sighed. "Okay..."

"Oh Conrad! What perfect timing! Amanda and I were just about to go look for O'Chunks to make Mimi happy again! You can come with us!" Carlos exclaimed, doing a small dance. Conrad pursed his lips. "Sorry, dear brother, but I have a lot of work to do. See, I'm trying to create a device that will-"

"_Pleeease? _It'll be fun!" Carlos begged, getting down on his knees. Conrad sighed. "No Carlos, I have things to do."

Carlos blinked a few times, and made an odd face. Conrad's expression grew pained, and he looked away. "No, Carlos. Your constipated face won't work on me this time."

Carlos jumped up, stamping his feet like a child. "I want you to come with me and Amanda!" he screamed, bursting into tears. Conrad rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, I'll join you, for Amanda's sake. She doesn't need to deal with you for more than ten minutes. And promise me that you won't have another tantrum again, you're much too old for those."

The obnoxious twin threw his arms around Conrad, bursting into a fit of happy laughter. "Oh, thank you, Conrad! It means so much to me!"

"Alright, let's go, then," Conrad said, clearing his throat again. Suddenly, the three of us disappeared, teleporting to a new dimension.

We arrived in a familiar looking little area. It was hot and sandy, a few trees here and there. Koopas and Goombas covered the ground, waiting for the arrival of the Heroes so that they could try to defeat them before we had to. I knew they wouldn't try to hurt the twins and I, since Dimentio was their master. We were in the Yold Desert.

"This is where you first had to battle O'Chunks in the game," I said to myself. Carlos laughed. "What are you talking about, Amanda? O'Chunks isn't a game, he's just a dumb man!"

"Carlos, that's rude!" Conrad hissed, and Carlos stuck his tongue out at him. I rolled my eyes at them, and we walked slowly through the sand, looking around for O'Chunks. Carlos began calling his name, each time in a different voice. Each time was more irritating than the next, and eventually, Conrad reached down, took a handful of sand, and shoved it down his twin's throat. Carlos surprisingly got the message and shut up.

"What's that up there?" I asked, pointing. Beside me, Conrad squinted, trying to see what I was seeing, and he gasped. "That's O'Chunks...and he's talking to Blumiere and Timpani! Hurry, we have to interfere before he tells them anything of importance!"

Carlos suddenly became invisible, as did Conrad. I cleared my throat loudly, and two hands grabbed my arms. I looked down at my feet, but thankfully couldn't see them. The three of us ran as quickly as we could to where O'Chunks, Blumiere, and Timpani stood. However, when we reached where they stood, Blumiere had already wrapped an arm around his wife's waist and teleported themselves away. The twins came to a sudden halt, and I stopped as well. O'Chunks sighed sadly, sitting on the hot sand. Carlos and Conrad simultaneously released my arms, and while they stayed invisible to the Scottish thug, I didn't. O'Chunks gasped, jumping up and pointing at me. "Y-yer 'ere alone! Where's the others? Wha's goin' on?"

I looked behind me, trying to see if either twin was there, but they were not. I could almost feel them smirking at me. I rolled my eyes, looking back at O'Chunks. "Yeah, I'm by myself. The twins dropped me here."

"Eh..." he mumbled, shaking his head. "Those twins 're a 'andful. Never stop causin' trouble at teh castle. It was worse before yeh came. Teasin' meh and Mimi all o' teh time, never leavin' us alone fer ten seconds! Yeh always 'ad teh be careful with whatever yeh were sayin', just in case they were listenin' to yeh or watchin' yeh or somethin'. Little bastards, they are. Always makin' trouble for yeh, always..."

I smiled as O'Chunks babbled on about the twins. It seemed to comfort him, make him remember about times in the castle. When he was finished, he looked at me with sad eyes. "How's Mimi been doin'? I 'ope she isn't causin' too much trouble for yeh, she gets pretty bad when she's upset 'bout somethin'..."

"She's pretty upset," I said slowly. I knew I had to say the exact right thing if I wanted to convince O'Chunks to return to our side. "She's mad at herself for getting so upset at you for no reason."

O'Chunks' bushy eyebrows shot up. "She is? Eh, is she not as selfish as I thought she was? She loves 'er rubies a whole lot, are yeh sure yeh got teh right story?"

"I'm sure," I said, hoping he'd believe it and come back. To my relief, a huge, sweet smile spread across his face. "Well, what're yeh waitin' fer? We gotta get back teh the castle so I can apologize teh 'er!" With that, the twins appeared on either side of me, leaning on my shoulders. "She's done it, all by herself!" Conrad exclaimed, grinning at me. Carlos made a funny face.

"Eh, I should 'ave known yeh two were 'ere!" O'Chunks growled. "Come on, kids!"

With that, O'Chunks jumped high into the sky, disappearing into the clouds. The twins again took hold of my wrists and we, too, teleported to the entrance of the castle. Carlos quickly dashed in, screaming, "I did it! I got O'Chunks back and it was all my idea! I'm so smart, I'm so much smarter than my stupid brother! Yippee!"

Conrad and I calmly walked in, only to be joined by Dimentio, who grinned. "Ah ha ha ha ha...so the dumbass actually accomplished something?"

"No," Conrad said with an almost angry tone. "It was all Amanda, sir."

Dimentio chuckled, and the three of us headed past Mimi's room, peering into the hole in the door and seeing Mimi and O'Chunks making up. Dimentio stopped short, pointing at the hole. "What's this?"

"Carlos," I muttered. "Don't even bother." The jester rolled his eyes and grunted. We watched as Carlos came running down the hallway at us, jumping onto Conrad and laughing like a child. Conrad desperately tried to kick him off, but Carlos wouldn't let go. I sighed at them, wondering if they would ever grow up.


End file.
